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Joke of the Day

"My SO always wanted a Disney wedding... But aparently selling our memories of it to a demon was out of the question."

"How many optometrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... or two? One... or two?"

"What's your favorite pick up line? Mine is the Ford F Series."

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10 but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"the new #ipad is #smaller and the new ipone is longer. these gadgts are becoming better, in my opinion Posted by PutsGadgetsUpAss at 11:09am"

"Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey"

"*The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. ""It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way."" John: I know it doesn't say that."

"I think when a transvestite goes missing their face should appear on a carton of half & half"

"How did Princess Aurora catch her prince? She became a sleeper agent"

"What kind of tree grows in your hand? A palm tree."