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Joke of the Day

"the new #ipad is #smaller and the new ipone is longer. these gadgts are becoming better, in my opinion Posted by PutsGadgetsUpAss at 11:09am"

"What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors."

"I asked my web server engineer wife to give me head. All I got was information and not the actual act."

"Mechanic : your motor is losing power and it won't last long. Me : you been talking to my wife bro?"

"Damn boy, are you a wool sweater because you're irritating the shit out of me."

"What does an agnostic ... dyslexic insomniac do at night? He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog."

"Like if you believe in God. Remember he saw you reading this."

"True love is when they look at you, see you're batshit insane, and love you anyway."

"So a crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan all walk into a bar. How do I know? Because they told everyone in the place within 30 seconds."

"Girls love shoes... so if she throws one at you, you know she's really pissed off."