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Joke of the Day
"You can always predict what antigay protesters will say. But never how they'll spell it."
Next Joke
"I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer."
"I was gonna make a joke about sluts... ...but it would just be whoreable."
"What do you get ...when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?"
"Accidentally got melted butter on some fried chicken and this is my delicious origin story."
"Q: Where do ghosts live? A: At the dead end."
"PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*"
"How many political parties does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, and the other to bask in the light of the old one."
"The best way to get a woman to argue with you is to say something"
"95% of pet ownership is just saying ""hello"" to them in various tones."