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Joke of the Day

"Me: grandma have you ever tried Five Guys? Grandma: at once?! *in case you don't know, Five Guys is a burger joint*"

"*exercises sarcastically*"

"The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took some."

"I was trying to help my family overcome their drug habits... ...but it got too *meth*-y. Ill just let them *weed* themselves out."

"Life can be compared to a 'Choose your own adventure' book. Sometimes there's a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear."

"Donald Trump walks into a mexican resturant jk. he doesn't..."

"Once you go black, you never go back... unless you're the White House."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up."

"Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra"

"My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money ""too dirty."" He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned"