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Joke of the Day

"My friend handed me broken scissors... I told him this isn't going to cut it."

"What sex position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"What do you call an Asian gold digger? Cha Ching"

"Got told this at work today all the guys thought it was funny and so thought iI'dput it to the vote? What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."

"It's pretty amazing that I'm able to balance my two kids, my career as a doctor, and my pathological lying!!"

"My love for you is like a candle. If you forget about me, I will burn your fucking house down"

"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? I dunno, they just seem a bit shady."

"Native Americans are all pissed that we took their land when they were here first... ..but we made reservations."

"Want to hear a clean joke? Jerry took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man."

"What was the ancient punishment for smoking fatal levels of weed? You would be stoned to death."