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Joke of the Day

"My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80's like. So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone."

"Girl you like is taken on Valentines Day? Just because there's a goalkeeper... It doesn't mean you can't score."

"DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared"

"What do you call a sarcastic mountain chain? The Kappalachians."

"If you love something set it free,unless it's a lion. Don't do that."

"Did you see that Sargento is going to stop selling shredded cheese? They're trying to make America grate again"

"The Irishman's dilemma. Do you eat the potatoes now or do you let them ferment so you can drink them later?"

"Nothing beats a pretty girl with a beautiful singing voice except for Chris Brown"

"The Italian faucet.... When it drips it goes wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop."

"I spent an hour explaining how WiFi works to my wife and my dog. The dog gets it."