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Joke of the Day

"""operation"" A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"

"Why shouldn't young people move to Egypt? Because only an old GIZA would live there!"

"I can't help but notice that the Ninja Turtles never wash their hands before eating pizza in the sewer."

"What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken? One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg."

"My doctor said if I get 1000 upvotes he will perform free LASIK surgery! Upvote for visibility."

"wife: Feeling better? me: Yeah wife: Kind of overreacted to a cold didn't you? [flashback to me calling the Make-A-Wish Foundation] me: No"

"What do you call a dragqueen in a truck? A Transporter"

"I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, What the hell are you doing with your life?'"

"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!!!!"