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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"

Next Joke
 
"Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!! Lucky I got the first punch in."
"Three men walk into a bar... You'd have thought the third one would have seen it."
"*stationary for 7 hours* Me: ""Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."""
"What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends ? A witch with a blindfold !"
"Why do black people have such big dicks? So they have something to play with on christmas. -inappropriate, but i think its funny."
"Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam? Every time somebody yelled, ""GET DOWN!"" they'd get up and dance."
"Have you heard the one about the airplane? It's way over your head."
"How do you castrate an Amish man? Kick his sister in the jaw."
"I'm thinking about selling my vacuum cleaner... ... All it does is collect dust."