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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"

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"Q: What time do kids need naps? A: At whine o'clock."
"When I asked for my wife's hand in marriage, I didn't realize how often I'd just get the finger."
"Apple just released a brand new programming language, *Swift*. Job recruiters everywhere immediately started posting ads for Swift programmers with 5 years of experience."
"How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush"
"I never thought I'd be drowning in a river. I think I was in the Nile"
"""Can we not have sex tonight? I'm tired"" ""Hi Tired, I'm dad"""
"Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously He always pulls out before finishing"
"The best ways to spell the name Sean: 1. Sean 2. Shawn 3. Shaun 4. Chone 5. Shnzzang 6. Beans! 7. Ulurion 8. Shon?"
"Why the USA get silver in synchronized diving? Because Steele Johnson always comes second."