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Joke of the Day

"Did you blow bubbles as a kid? He's out and is looking for you!"

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"I used to be a head chef. I guess it's just part of being a cannibal."
"So Goldilocks is casing the bears' house, figuring she can heist their stash of crystal meth, when all of a sudden ... . . . Andrew Dice Clay sticks his head in the door and says ..."
"I heard there's a woman going about with twelve nipples. Sounds absurd. Dozen tit."
"I texted someone ""hell yeah,"" but autocorrect changed it to ""hell year"" because even our phones know."
"Why do dogs wag their tails ? ""Because no one else will do it for them !"""
"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit fam."
"Did you hear about the joke in /r/science? [+][deleted] 5 hours ago"
"Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours"
"Me: how much is all the money in the world? Genie: not sure exactly Me: give me a ballpark figure POOOF *I'm now the size of Shea Stadium"