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Joke of the Day

"Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? *The ultrasound guy.* Who's the coolest guy in the hospital when the ultrasound guy's off? *The hip replacement guy.*"

"Bad religious joke I created. One day Jesus is talking to god and says, ""Hey dad, guess what I did today?"" God: ""What?"" Jesus: ""I walked on water."" God: ""No way."" Jesus: ""Yahweh!"" Badum, tss"

"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."

"If these celebrity stints in rehab were any shorter, they'd be drive-thrus."

"Damn girl, are you today's date? Cause you're 10/10"

"I saw Denzel Washington on the street today. I said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"My mum always told me it's better out than in... But my uncle always told me that it's better in than out."

"Why did the dragon go to jail for farting? Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out."

"Why did God make pubic hair curly? So we don't poke our eyes out."

"missing someone one Valentine's Day joke with your self when you missing someone and think they will come back but other person ignoring you and you think they will come back to you one day..."