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Joke of the Day

"Mechanic : your motor is losing power and it won't last long. Me : you been talking to my wife bro?"

"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family"

"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"""Jesus loves you."" A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison."

"Are one-liners accepted? I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean ""afraid of xenomorphs""."

"I love when people say ""If people hate you, it only means you're doing something right."" Because that's what Hitler would say."

"My parents used to tell me this one. Where did the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"tifu by getting inside someone else's underwater vessel Whoops, wrong sub"

"Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game."