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Joke of the Day
"How did the elephant get into the room? We don't talk about it..."
Next Joke
"February 29th is just like a dead beat dad. It only shows up every four years."
"A flight attendant says to a man... ""Would you like headphones?"" The man replies, ""How did you know my name was Phones?"""
"Why did Marx pay for dinner on the first date? Because his utopia might be classless, but he's not"
"What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in a load of dirty laundry and some detergent."
"Who's winning Went to visit my Granddad. He was watching a basketball game. ""What's the score Gramps?"" ""92 to 86."" ""Who's winning?"" I asked. ""92"""
"Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side"
"I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS."
"Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown* Me: Sweetie, you need to share Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35"
"im tired of chasing my dreams So I'll just get their number and catch up with them later"