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Joke of the Day

"3 women went to a bar... And they wanted to know how lose they are.. * The first one slid in a hotdog * The second slid in a cucumber * And the third one went down the bar stool"

"Who will win this Super Bowl's coin toss? Hillary Clinton"

"So I had this idea to make money by selling bottled bottles ...It made no cents"

"Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb shit."

"Happy Birthday, Jesus! The lawn looks great, thanks!"

"Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign ..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term"

"Exits public bathroom stall Makes eye contact with the person next in line Mouths: ""I'm so sorry"""

"what do jeb bush and lance arm strong have in common? everyone was disappointed with their last speeches and no one was disappointed when they dropped out of the race"

"Jesus didn't know how to close a door. He was born in a barn."

"My neighbor came pounding on my front door at 2am last night lucky for him, I was up practicing my bag pipes."