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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about having sex with 29 year olds? There's 20 of them..."

"Ban pre-shredded cheese Make America grate again!"

"I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her."

"The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely."

"Why do people cry when they are first born? 1. 100 million of your brethren have just died. Someone has to mourn for them. 2. Title: ""first born"" Can you be born a second time?"

"How many ""friend zone"" guys does it take to put in a light bulb? It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better."

"Well this should spice things up. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me."

"One jihadist said to another, ""How many infidels do we kill?"" He answered, ""Allah them"""

"So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!"

"If you're ovulating and have sex standing up... Is it called a standing ovulation? Asking for a friend"