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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat, the sorting hat put her in all four houses."

"In 1975 Bill Gates was out on a date... ...and he asked his female companion what he should name his new company. She replied that he should name it after his penis."

"What do you call it when you run out of seed? Endosperm."

"TIL: A second is called a second because it's not first."

"Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it."

"My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said ""HELP ME!"". It was not."

"Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!"

"Van Halen on tour in 2012! I doubt the Mayans realized they'd be up against ""Drop Dead Legs"" when they predicted the end of the world."

"What's it like being frozen to absolute zero? It's 0K."

"'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch."