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Joke of the Day

"Strip search? ... OK, but I'm going to need some background music."

"Hey, thanks for making sure ""Nazi"" is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them."

"Every day, for the last two years, I've been putting something aside for a rainy day... ... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?"

"A man walks into a bar... ...and screams ""Ouch!"""

"After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die."

"Remember the 7-Mile Spanking Machine? Turns out there will also be a punch line."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR letter to mods AAEEHNPPRWYY"

"Did anyone see Bob Costas' double pink eye while watching the Olympics? I heard he got it from Putin."

"So a woman walks out of the kitchen... ..."

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."