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Joke of the Day

"Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it's important to start out really fat."

"Why should you never get into an argument with a dictionary? Because they'll always have the last word."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever."

"The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof."

"McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom."

"If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The Swallow"

"I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find 'em."

"Kidnappers: We have your husband. Send us $10,000 if you ever want to see him again. Me: Where I should drop off his clothes?"

"Whats the only bad thing about head from an anorexic girl? She won't swallow"