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Joke of the Day

"What do you calla nosy pepper? Jalapeno business"

"A homosexual, a pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink."

"It's crazy how my ex was so upset about losing me that he had to build a life with a new woman."

"What do you get when you blow up a police station? Bacon bits I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a dumbass teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share."

"We trace hands to make turkeys. Quite a handy technique."

"Help, I just sunk the wrong submarine and I need legal advice Whoops! Wrong sub."

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a ho-down."

"Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people."

"Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight space cow preventing other cows from clearing the moon. Goodnight ketamine."

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."