200709

Joke of the Day

"Iv'e never been so proud of myself.. Just completed a jigsaw puzzle in 8 days.. It said 3-4 years on the box!!"

"I don't have a summer home, but I do have several different email addresses."

"How Did Harry Potter Get Down The Hill? Walking. Jk Rowling."

"We can talk about either delegates or blowjobs, but a Clinton will always get one or the other under the table."

"I bet Sherlock Holmes rocked the shit out of elementary school."

"What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

"A man goes into a pharmacy And asks, Do you have pills for memory? The pharmacist says, Yes we do. And the man goes: You do what?"

"Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

"Although I don't care for rap music, I don't denigrate it. For those who like rap music, denigrate means to speak negatively about."

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."