200709

Joke of the Day

"Iv'e never been so proud of myself.. Just completed a jigsaw puzzle in 8 days.. It said 3-4 years on the box!!"

"I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone."

"What's the difference between your mom and 3 dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A carpet."

"Have you heard of the italian chef that died? He pasta away!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it wouldn't come anyway."

"What does Batman do with all his spare money? He makes it wayne"

"What does a German snake sound like? ...."

"To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes."

"When I'm about to die and my life flashes before my eyes I'm worried that a lot of it will just be Facebook and TV."