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Joke of the Day
"Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus."
Next Joke
"Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist? He never learned to mix the colors"
"Q. What is the bigest pencil in the world? A. Pennsylvania"
"I'm clingy, but not "" Simon Cowell's t-shirt"" clingy."
"Superman: Only one cookie left. Batman: Rock, paper, scissors for it? Superman: 1, 2, 3, GO! Batman: *pulls out Kryptonite and eats cookie*"
"I witnessed a murder today... Though it may have just been a flock of jackdaws, I'm not a biologist."
"[Calls Ex-Girlfriend] Remember all those hair-ties and Bobby pins you lost? Well, I found all 5,000 while moving."
"If I haven't said something mildly offensive today I'm sorry and I promise to try harder"
"Why couldn't anyone trust the snowman to do anything? He was kinda flakey"
"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."