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Joke of the Day

"I lost my mood ring. I'm unsure how I feel about it."

"What's it called when a pig kills itself? Soooey!-cide"

"I didn't see my face anywhere as a kid... ...then I realised it was right under my nose the whole time!"

"I don't care if you're here to murder me we take our shoes off in this house."

"My girlfriend got D for Christmas from her Math teacher."

"No internet for 11 hours. I've written two novels, lost 15 pounds, and forgotten how to pronnounce ""gif."""

"My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading."

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? Acne only comes on your face after 12"

"If clinical depression was a sound, it would be two people trying to talk at the same time during a conference call."