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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? Acne only comes on your face after 12"

"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"

"I just bought some ""ribbed cotton tank t-shirts"" at WalMart. You'd think that'd be the one place on earth they'd call them wifebeaters."

"These days its all about finding the woman you want to divorce after your kids go to college."

"If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"Hi, I'd like to order a baby ""Excuse me?"" It says here you deliver babies? ""Sir this is a hospital"" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]"

"GOP threatens to shutdown government unless Obama changes color of skin."

"Why is Islam a religion of peace? Well.. because Obama said so."

"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and regular olive oil? Popeye's penis"