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Joke of the Day

"I put a tiny bow tie on a ladybug so you could tell he was a male. It looks adorable except for he's dead now."

"Prostitutes hate trick-or-treaters."

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"Next week I'm gonna have an MRI scan. I'll finally find out if I have claustrophobia."

"Q: What kind of snake is it good to have on a car? A: Windshield vipers."

"There was a shooting at the Apple store last night. There were no iWitnesses."

"Ever wonder where people got their surnames from? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher might have been a butcher. ...then there's Mr. Dickinson."

"What is it called when you insult an Indian so bad that he bursts into flames? A Sikh burn"

"Blonde joke What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school? A. Hump me dump me!!"

"What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified? Holy"