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Joke of the Day

"Microsoft will start making ... vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck."

"I'm sorry, we can't hire you. But your background check was hilarious."

"Why did James Gandolfini die of a heart attack? Because he was fat."

"What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"". The other says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!""."

"""Here, drink this."" - Me speed dating."

"What if Fox News is just an 18 year long infomercial for teeth whitener?"

"I'm writing a virus that puts your top porn search as your facebook status It will forever change history."

"My dad always said there was nothing wrong with black people He believed everybody should own one"

"Why is it a bad idea to swim in the Mississippi River? Because it has pp in it."

"Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggy."