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Joke of the Day

"At a job interview: ""What are your strengths?"" ""I'm an optimist and a positive thinker."" ""Give me an example"" ""When do I start?"""

"Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic? Trigger-nometry."

"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""

"We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin."

"Do you want to be the greatest superhero of all? Be Alfredo and take out the damn trash. Just told my son this, he hates me now."

"Me: ""I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself."" Twitter: lol, you said ""came""."

"What does a blood learn in kindergarten? His abb's"

"How many dead baby's does it take to paint a wall? _"