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Joke of the Day

"Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert"""

"Oh, jokes from 7 year-olds are cool now? From my son last night: ""Why do sea gulls fly over the sea?"" Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls (""like bagels, get it Dad?"")."

"Fighting a lion is on my bucket list but I should probably make it the last thing."

"The biggest problem with teen pregnancy is that those idiots still think it's okay to name a kid ""Bentley"" or ""Destiny."""

"How come reddit posters have no babies? Because OP never delivers."

"I walked past a field of cows at 3 AM and saw that they were all wide awake. I said, ""Surely it's pasture bedtime?"""

"I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEBODY WOULD BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-oh, never mind, I found it..."

"""Dave just showed up"" Dave the fireman or Dave who always uses inappropriate abbreviations? *Dave barges in* HEY GUYS I'M DTF ""Yeah I dunno"""

"What's Hitler's favorite football team? Forty NEIN ers."

"Guys, you're spraying on too much. It's a reason the word ""cologne"" rhymes with ""alone""."