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Joke of the Day
"3 guys walk into a bar Three guys walk into a bar. The forth guy ducks."
Next Joke
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it..."
"People keep telling me i'm self-deprecating. I don't think i deserve that."
"Me: ugh I have to wear a tie today, adulting sucks. Grandpa: I had to fight in World War II when I was 19. Me: I guess you kind of get it."
"For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe not locking a car in a church carpark on a Sunday, apparently NOT. Anyway I got 8 iPhones."
"My wife once told me "" Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms"", which pissed me off because my names not Mike"
"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""
"Yoda: Why is five afraid of seven? Because six, seven eight..."
"Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal."
"How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant? Two men a nite."