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Joke of the Day
"France and Italy declare war... France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose."
Next Joke
"Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had."
"How to talk to a good girl and bad girl When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?' When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you?'"
"What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They're both fucking close to water."
"Like most pale people I will be occupying the indoors this summer."
"Pretty sure my first black friend was ""The Wire."""
"What do you call a penis with bad logic? A phallusy."
"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... But I didn't even try and mine's been playing dead for an hour!"
"Confusing the word, ""jacuzzi"" with, ""yakuza"" has gotten me in hot water with the Japanese mafia more than once."
"Mickey Mouse ""Doc, my knees hurt!"" Doctor: Which knee? Mickey: Disney"