43555

Joke of the Day

"My congressman just wrote to tell me if I don't re-elect him, whatever-scares-me-most will probably happen. Send money."

"My grandpa dies in a concentration camp He fell from a guard tower."

"Self-Love Joke When I was at the zoo, I couldn't figure out why a monkey was staring at me with its hand between its legs. Then it came to me."

"I take the ""L"" and ""R"" on my headphones way too seriously"

"Why wasn't Caitlyn Jenner charged with vehicular manslaughter? It wasn't her fault. Her tranny slipped."

"I'm trying to give up using innuendo in my jokes. But it's hard...really hard."

"I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right"

"I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem"

"Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison? He was charged with battery."

"I have the head of a German Shepard and the body of a 16 year old boy.... They're both in my car and I want you to see them."