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Joke of the Day

"What do gay people call each other on? Homophones."

"How do you tell off a toilet? Tell them to eat shit."

"Me: This ""Fear the Walking Dead"" show is really creepy. Wife: This is the Video Music Awards."

"I'm sorry CO2, but I'm leaving you you're suffocating me!"

"Why is it I barely have any signal in my house but the fucking Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan??"

"What's a Mad Cow's favorite rap song? MOO! Bitch, get out the way... Get out the way... Get out the way."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? (From u/cherryslurpee) I won't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Marriage brings two people together to solve issues they never had before"

"What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors? A reptile dysfunction..."

"*writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds ""resume"" to resume"