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Joke of the Day

"What did the bird say when it flew into the window? Owl"

"After Babe Ruth died, the world became ruthless."

"While stalking someone on Facebook, I accidentally liked a picture 700 tags deep. Not even Yahoo! Answers has a solution for this."

"[bar] CUSTOMER: Barman BARMAN: Sir? C: This beer tastes like piss [further down the bar] BEAR GRYLLS: I'll have what he's having"

"Just took $20 out of my friend Martin's wallet (he has ALS) because that ice bucket nonsense ruined my new kimono."

"What was the Jewish child doing on the chimney? He was waiting for his parents."

"Ground control to Kerbal III, how willing would you be to share your proximity to the equator? We have zero inclination."

"What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge? A snapshot."

"Gary Johnson Has won the election."

"A black man walks into a bar... ...with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender exclaims, ""Wow! How exotic! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" Says the parrot."