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Joke of the Day

"I hope this Hurricane is a Joaquin the park ;)"

"Osama, Ghaddafi, and Kim Jong Il? Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year."

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"Why are there no American flags at the DNC? Because the delegates were standing on them."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Biafra ! Biafra who ? Biafra'id be very afraid !"

"The movie industry has been irresponsible in the way it has glamorized getting splashed by a passing car."

"What did Beethoven do when he died? Decompose."

"*sees a baby screaming on the plane* wait-- WAIT. WHY IS HE SCREAMING. OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SCREAMING. WHAT DOSE HE KNOW THAT WE DONT"

"Why didn't the Romans try to kill Jesus after he rose from the dead? They were too afraid to double cross him."

"They say anal sex is like your first car... you might not like it but your dad will give it to you anyway!"