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Joke of the Day

"Dog's Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today... He just yelled at me."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame unique rabbit? Tame thing.... You unique up on him too."

"Isis have just started making explosive prayer mats In their first quarterly report they said that prophets were going through the roof."

"The Ultimate Spoiler You all die in the end."

"If ""bae"" means bacon and eggs then yes, I'm chilling with my bae"

"Ted Cruz believes in Creationism so he was really pissed off his daughters could be monkeys."

"I made a song about a tortilla Actually it's more of a wrap."

"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to the local swimming pool. So I gave him a cup of water."

"If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up."

"They say treat others how you would like to be treated. Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess."