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Joke of the Day

"Afraid your kid might be a commie? Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag."

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"Holy shit there's a spider under my keyboard I think it's under control"
"Why didn't anyone care about the circus? Because it was irr-elephant"
"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."
"I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes... The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames"
"I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, ""You can't be serious."" I said, ""I know."""
"What planet smells the worst? Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it."
"If you could go back in time, would you kill Hitler or just watch movies that aren't about superheroes?"
"Why do they call them ""country bumpkins""? Because in the country, you bump your kin!"
"Oscar Pistorius He hasn't got a leg to stand on"