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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror."

"Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo"

"If you are considering decorating your car for Christmas, please seek immediate mental help."

"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"

"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."

"Father: *places hand on shoulder* My son..... *Son: Yes father? *Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found! editted for format, which I suck at apparently"

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond Bond, James Bond."

"""You want to see a pig with three eyes?"" A piiig"

"Why did the chicken double-cross the road? To change sides."

"What do the Welsh like to do in their private time? Oh, sorry guys. It would've been a baaaaaa-d joke."