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Joke of the Day

"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"

"What's the difference between a trunk full of bowling balls and a trunk full of dead babies? You can't unload a trunk full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"Booze Cruise I'm not afraid to die, I'm just afraid of how I'm going to die. I wanna go like my grandpa, In his sleep, not like his other 4 screaming passengers."

"Welcome to earth! You have a choice of private parts. Would you like the one that creates life & bleeds or the constant bad decision maker?"

"Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy."

"If you have to pick up 9 cans on your desk before you find the one with beer in it, you........ you'd forget the fucking punch line too."

"I am a kid at heart and a 52 year old coal miner at liver."

"What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question."

"My doctor gave me six months to live. When I couldn't pay my bill, he gave me another six months."

"Don't have phone sex You might get hearing aids."