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Joke of the Day

"Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y."

"They say we know more about the surface of Mars than we do about the bottom of the ocean which is still twice as much as I know about the second page of a Google Search"

"I like my women how I like my cars... Stuck in my garage once I'm done with them."

"Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand english ~dogs"

"I just donated money to help create water reservoirs for families in need. It was money well spent!"

"Did you know a cat can jump higher than a house? This is due to the fact that cats have very powerful hind legs and that houses can't jump."

"I was verbally abused as a child. The bigger verbs at school would kick my ass. ""Stop conjugating yourself!"" they'd say mockingly."

"What do pirates like to wear during the winter? Scarves"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a hooker with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits..."

"Which is the meat patties' least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!"