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Joke of the Day

"I want to be part of the 27 club I'm just DYING to get in."

"Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it's a two-star hotel."

"What do you call an Arab who owns a goat and a camel? Bisexual."

"David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared for a nuclear attack from North Korea. Dave mate, normally we aren't prepared for snow at winter."

"My mom took my phone when I wasn't paying attention She said ""honey have you been watching porn?"" ""N-no mom why would you say that?"" I asked petrified. ""Because your search history is blank""."

"What font is alphabet soup produced in? Times New Ramen"

"I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, ""1920x1080""."

"""A man in a wheelchair walks into the room..."" Um, teacher? (*true story, just happened!*)"

"The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby."

"Probably the worst time to say ""Or what?!"" is when the cops are telling you to drop the gun and step out of the vehicle."