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Joke of the Day
"My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes. I told her to lighten up."
Next Joke
"It is not ok to joke about menstruation. Period."
"In High School they used to call me Big Tim, but it wasn't because of my height, Ladies ;).... .....its because I was Morbidly Obese."
"My counselor suggested I take Sign language in school... She said it was pretty handy"
"ME: I would like a complaint form ASSISTANT: Sorry, we have none left ME: I would like two complaint forms"
"What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast? Sugar Puff Daddy"
"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"
"Did you know the inventor of the vibrator heard voices saying... ""If you build it, they will come."""
"Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow."
"I got the lyrics wrong and partied like it's 1599. Now my kitchen smells like roast peacock and I can't get this horse off my couch"