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Joke of the Day
"Him: ""Do you want to cuddle?"" Me: ""Yeah, let me call the dog."""
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"
"What's the NSA's favourite game? I spy."
"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles."
"What do you call someone with down syndrome who is very depressed? Down"
"Daughter: ""I wish you were a better listener."" Me: ""I wish you were more interesting."" Daughter: ""Don't tweet that."" Me: ""I won't."""
"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: I'm just gonna nap for an hour then"
"What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl? He turns off his xbox."
"Nipples are so helpful and thoughtful with the whole 'tell everyone how cold I am' thing."
"Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole? Because Donald ducked."