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Joke of the Day

"Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics? Phelps."

"Your mom is so sweet... I don't even need sugar when I'm eating her"

"My parents are so poor.... If I dont wake up with a boner Christmas morning I'll have nothing to play with."

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it."

"What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor."

"Why did Eric Clapton make the switch from PC to Apple? Well because he had a horrible experience with windows. (credit to Neil Hamburger for this amazing joke)"

"Why did princess Diana cross the street? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"What do you call it when an Eevee (Pokemon) evolves into what you want with no interruptions? DirecTV (Say it aloud)"

"What did the Japanese man say when he jumped out of Office Depot? SUPPLIES!!!"

"What do you call it if a white person robs you? Capitalism"