42932

Joke of the Day

"Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward"

"What's the strongest letter in the alphabet? ***P*** Even Superman can't hold it."

"John... ...[Staymoist](http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/21300000/John-Stamos-john-stamos-21331988-1611-1089.jpg)"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"Shitty one-liner: Giiirl, you can call me Saturday-Sunday, cuz I'm all you're gonna be doin' this weekend. Is this a thing? It feels like it has to have been a thing and I just forgot where."

"What do you call a big pile of kittens? A Meowntain"

"What did the male potato chip say to the female potato chip? Are you Frito-lay?"

"What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!"

"Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant."

"Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's? They didn't speak sine language."