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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA? If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture."

"Damn girl, are you a hoover? Cuz dam"

"""I wish some random guy from India would DM me!"" -no girl, ever"

"Some friends, a lesbian couple... bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"You (drinking coffee): Drugs are bad Me (smugly injecting heroin): Actually, coffee is a drug"

"9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum ""In your closet, why?"" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!"

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer."

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed when it doesn't screw."

"What's the definition of ""Tender Love?"" Two gays with hemorrhoids. "

"When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep. ""She took the bed!"""