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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish."

"What US state is it easiest to hide a prostitute in? H-Idaho-e"

"What do you call someone who blows himself up by accident? An Errorist!"

"What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu? Don't stick around to find out!"

"I'm thinking of taking up animal hoarding. Where can I get 37 armadillos this time of night?"

"I like my beer how I like my violence.. Domestic"

"I Was Going To Write A Theater Piece On Puns.... ...but then I realized it would just be a play on words."

"This tweet was going to be really funny but I didn't write it down because I was totally sure I'd remember it."

"I didn't post that copyright notice thing on my Facebook and I've already seen SIX of MY photos of me with my casseroles in BMW commercials"

"David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, ""I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."" His Agent says, ""Sure. No hassle."""