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Joke of the Day

"90% of owning a dog is telling it to stop barking."

"Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones."

"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."

"I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."

"Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness."

"What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat."

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? PENNAY!"

"Knock knock Who's there? Obesity. Obesity who? Obesity is not a joke it's a wake-up call."

"Why can't ghosts have babies? They have hollow weenies!"

"why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 ATE 9."