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Joke of the Day

"why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 ATE 9."

"I once saw a midget goalie play 10 consecutive games in a row. After the games I asked if he was sore, and he said ""I'm a little tender""."

"""Dadd-"" ""No."" ""You don't even know what I was going to say!"" ""You're wearing your Superman costume and standing beside the ladder. No."""

"What prize did the dead body receive? Atrophy"

"Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption ""Summer is finally here!"" or we wouldn't have known it's summer."

"Bernie Sanders fans say ""Feel the Bern."" Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson."

"Stop talking about being sad. Use a bigger word like despondent so people will at least think you're an intelligent cry baby."

"What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader? I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A FSHHH"

"What's the difference between... NSFW What's the difference between a joke and a 12"" dick? You can't take a joke."

"So I got asked if I wanted a threesome... I said no thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."