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Joke of the Day

"The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like."

Next Joke
 
"Trump should never become president. I don't to wait 4 more years for the next Celebrity Apprentice."
"So I've always wanted to try the homosexual thing... ... but I get claustrophobic in tight spaces."
"My wife is not happy with some of the comments in the anonymous suggestion box I attached our bed."
"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is ""bananas"" GWEN STEFANI: oh hell yes"
"I called my ex a cow Animal control had to show up"
"So a guy orders a pizza. . ..they ask him, ""would you like that cut into six pieces or eight? He says, ""Oh, six! I could never eat eight."""
"If you come to my front door with a clip board I will just ask you if your clip board is an ipad until you leave."
"What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents? Jokes about Batman's parents can get old."
"I have a big business on kids and murders. They all love my ferrets."