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Joke of the Day

"Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life."

"What do you call a Korean girl, who lost her virginity at a young age? Sum-Young Ho"

"I long for a slightly simpler time when old people with fifteen types of produce were too intimidated to use the self checkout"

"Why can't Santa play in the NBA? He has a no-trade Claus"

"What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones? Phil, eh?"

"If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened."

"How do you know when a vegan gets to the party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"If they ever make an alcoholic drink that tastes like a burrito I'll be dead within 5 hours."

"when a goth has an identity crisis do they bleach all their clothes"

"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it,"" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches."