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Joke of the Day

"I had all these small cheese squares but nothing to put them on. I was really cracka lackin'."

"[Wonder Woman shows up] Superman: Is she with you? Batman: I thought she was with you? Wonder Woman: Bruce you literally emailed me today"

"[if my cat tweeted] When ""over 38"" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone."

"What did Ohio say to Oklahoma? Oh, hi ""O"". `ifit'sbaddon'tkillme`"

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He was all right. Andddd I'll see myself out."

"Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror? A: A camera that takes pictures of itself."

"Shopkeeper: Stop! you can't smoke here. Me: But I bought the it from your shop. Shopkeeper: We also sell condoms but that doesn't mean.. but you don't use them here!"

"WARNING: This film MAY contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."

"Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always."