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Joke of the Day

"""Mom, i'm in the hospital."" ""Jeremy, you have been a doctor for 8 years now please stop starting every phone conversation with that."""

"Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? he's 0k now."

"8 year old at the park said I threw like a girl. He found out I kick in the nuts like a girl too."

"What's the Turkish version of court packing? Turkey stuffing"

"I'm not desperate because i'm single, i'm single because i'm not desperate."

"Just watched Die Hard 2. People in 1990 sure knew how to shrug off a plane crash."

"Teacher Jokes Teacher If Cannot is short for cannot. What is Don""t short for? pupil. doughnut."

"[texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*"

"*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* ""Grow up Karen"""

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung"